After eight years in rock and roll bands on the
east coast, living in motels and doing everything from
playing frat parties and low-life bars to backing
popular singers and working as a session player in New
York recording studios, I went west. Sick and tired
of the road, and disillusioned with the music
business, I caught a flight to San Francisco, a place
which seemed to hold a promise of something... I was
invited to visit someone who lived on a houseboat in
Sausalito. It was an unusual and colorful sight, but
there was more to the waterfront than met the eye.
“Those people on the Oakland [an old boat resembling
a ferry], are definitely on their own trip,” I was
told. “There’s a guy there named Captain Garbage who
eats seagulls. Shoots them right off the pilings.”
In a short time I was carried by fate into the
Oakland scene, the mysterious inner circle inhabited
by a group of people who called themselves “Redlegs.”
“Drafted” into the Redlegs’ band (they needed a
guitar player), I gradually became part of the larger
waterfront scene, learning sailing and seamanship as
well other everyday survival skills. Life on the road
playing music had taught me nothing like this.
There was no law on the waterfront, and while this
was frightening at first, I learned that in a
community with real trust, authority in the normal
sense was unnecessary, and that the System feared and
hated us for it.
Meaning only to be free and have fun, we often took
things to extremes, including drugs. This abuse
ultimately made us vulnerable to our enemy (authority
in the form of police, city and county bureaucracies,
and real estate developers), and contributed to the
destruction of the band and the dream.
The Redlegs were not about money, or success in the
traditional sense. We had a built-in failure factor
that kicked in every time we encountered record
companies or the “Big Time” in any form. But
according to one observer, we were “one of the few
real rock and roll bands that ever existed.”
Although the bureaucracy and developers eventually
prevailed in Sausalito, the spirit of fun and freedom
lived on and stayed with waterfront people--the ones
who remained, and the ones who migrated to different
places.
In the early ‘70’s, the “magic” and wonder of the
60’s were still at work and the “counter-culture”
wasn’t yet out of the honeymoon period. The Redlegs
band, part of a larger, controversial social
phenomenon, became in one sense wildly successful, and
in another were a monumental failure.
The Redlegs had brushes with fame and fortune;
there were offers from big record companies, gigs at
major "showcase" rooms like Winterland and Keystone
Korner, a feature film. Something went wrong every
time; we always seemed to walk smack into a psychic
brick wall, something phony and weird that was
intolerable. The bigger the opportunity, the creepier
the feeling, the worse our attitudes, and the more
offensive our behavior.
December 197O
None of the actual band members came to take me
away. Jesse (revoltin’ Bolton) Crocodile was there,
and Danny Joe Crumb (the Public Offender), and some
loudmouthed Texans I’d never even seen before.
“Come on, we're going to a party,” said Jesse,
through his pointy yellow teeth.
“Yeah, motherfucker, let’s go. You're the new
guitar player,” said Danny Joe, lurching around with a
bottle of Green Death in his hand.
“What party? Nobody told me about any party. If
you think I’m going back to Sausalito with you, forget
it,” I said. The Texans laughed.
“Is this your amp?” one of them asked, picking up
my Twin Reverb and heading out the door. Jesse
grabbed my guitar case, shook it to make sure the
instrument was inside, and grinned his Crocodile grin.
My objections were futile. A bunch of
sleazy-looking, intimidating waterfront outlaws had my
equipment, and I was going to a party.
• • • • • • • • • • •
The Summer of Love was over, and the Cole St. house
where I had a room was full of glassy-eyed followers
of Stephen Gaskin, the last of the Haight-Ashbury
gurus.
I had come to San Francisco with my friend Joey the
drummer to find a bass player and singer to help
record some tunes we had written. Things hadn't
worked out for us in New York or L.A. We found a good
vocalist, brought in a bass player from L.A., booked
some time at Funky Jack’s recording studio, and sold
three songs to Dave Diamond, the “drifting through
seafoams of yesterday’s flashbacks” DJ, for 5OO
dollars.
Joey had moved out to Sausalito and was living with
his girlfriend Maria in a rusty 22-ft. lifeboat in the
parking lot at Gate Six. People lived there on
floating objects of every conceivable type, from crude
boxes built on styrofoam to war surplus lifeboats and
landing craft, from salvaged Chinese junks to opulent
palaces on concrete barges. He was playing drums with
a bunch of rowdy freaks who hung out on the four huge
drydocks scuttled in the middle of Richardson’s Bay.
They were called the Redlegs, and had red stripes
painted down the legs of their jeans. Tales of the
goings-on at the drydocks were enough to keep even the
cops scared away.
I visited Joey at Gate Six. He introduced me to
Joe Tate, the leader of the Redlegs. His gaze was so
penetrating, I looked down to see if I was really
there. I told myself he must be crazy, but I sensed
immediately that he knew something beyond my reach,
that he was comfortable, even intimate with things and
ideas that I feared. He started talking about music
and I snapped out of it. Joey had told Tate about
selling our songs, and he wanted to try it. We
decided to record some of Tate’s songs in my
half-assed recording studio, a stereo reel-to-reel
machine, two microphones, and some discarded
mattresses for insulation in the dingy cellar of the
Cole St. house.
They arrived the next night with Kim, the bass
player, who never said a word and looked bored. We
recorded two songs, “Bottle of Wine Blues” and
“Saturday Night.” Despite my apprehension about Tate,
we played together well, and I liked his music. But
the DJ didn’t. He had no use for rhythm and blues.
Joey told me the Redlegs band was going to audition
in a few days at a private club near Gate Three, south
of Gate Six near the Big “G” supermarket. I went to
check them out. It was still daylight, and when I
walked into the club I couldn’t see a thing.
When my eyes were used to the dark, I could see
that no women were in there except Maggie, the singer
in the band, and that most of the men wore shiny
leather and silver chains. It was a private club all
right, for homosexuals only. When questioned, I
quickly explained that I was a friend of the
musicians.
The Redlegs band was on stage -- Tate on guitar,
Maggie Catfish singing, Kim the bass player, Joey on
drums, and another guitar player named Eric. I liked
their sound, especially Maggie’s voice.
Only Eric seemed out of place. He was clearly not
in synch, like a misfiring cylinder in an otherwise
perfect engine. I remembered playing with them in the
city, and knew that if I were playing in Eric’s place,
the band would sound right. The manager of the “Fairy
Factory,” as Tate called it, did not hire the Redlegs.
No one was surprised or disappointed.
After the band packed up their equipment, I went
back to Gate Six with them. Eric invited Joey and me
to his houseboat and offered us some heroin. That
explained at least partly why Eric was out of the
band’s groove. We left him with his dope and agreed
to have another session in my cellar studio.
I went back to the city. The Cole St. house was
depressing, but the Sausalito waterfront was something
else. Although its atmosphere was more vital and
intense than anything I had experienced, it was
frightening to a city-boy musician. And to top it
off, the whole Redlegs thing, from the scene at the
drydocks to the painted pant-legs, smacked of a cult.
It was two or three weeks before the Redlegs came
to the Cole St. house again. This time Maggie was
with them. She had just returned from a
near-disastrous sailing trip to Bodega Bay in her
19-ft. folkboat, the Yipes Stripes. She was
exhausted, filthy, and starving. I thought she was
beautiful. I fed her some scrambled eggs and potatoes
and made a hot bath for her, and for this she thought
I was the kindest person in the world. She fell
asleep after a song or two. Kim was also nodding off,
so we quit early.
Tate invited me to go sailing. He lived on a
Chinese junk he had rebuilt from a wreck. It was
called the Hwang Ho and looked like something out of
National Geographic. I had never been on a sailboat
and I wasn’t crazy about going back to Sausalito, but
since Maggie was going along, I talked myself into it.
We were going out to the drydocks to pick up a wood
burning stove called “Old Fogmouth.” It was a warm
day with a pleasant breeze. The short trip was
pleasant and I enjoyed trying to figure out the
rigging of the junk sails.
Arriving at the drydocks was like landing on
another planet. Each of the four medieval-looking
structures was nearly large as a football field and
had 6O ft. high walls on two sides. We tied up the
Hwang Ho and climbed a chain ladder to reach the deck.
No one else was there.
I was awed by the sheer immensity of the drydocks,
and there was a magical desolation about them. It was
an alien world, but I felt strangely comfortable
there.
Old Fogmouth was a large rusty cylindrical steel
tank converted to a stove. It was very heavy, and it
took all my strength to carry my end just a few feet.
When we finally got it to the edge of the deck, I was
ready to collapse. Tate secured a line to each end of
it and we began to lower it to the deck of the Hwang
Ho. I had no experience with rigging of any kind, and
I was lowering too fast. The line ran away from me
and pinned my hand to the wooden deck. I tried
desperately to hold on while the skin scraped off my
fingers, right down to the bone. The stove made it to
the Hwang Ho’s deck, and I collapsed, in shock and
sick to my stomach. It was my left hand, my guitar
playing fingers.
We found some toilet paper to wrap my hand, and
Tate landed me at Gate Three, the nearest convenient
shore access. I said a quick goodbye and hitched back
to the city, intending never to see them again.
• • • • • • • • • • •
I rode across the Golden Gate Bridge in a van full
of drunken degenerates, all raving and carrying on
about much fun it all was. My hand had taken six
weeks to heal, and now I was on my way, against my
will, back to Sausalito where I had almost lost three
fingers. I sulked and cursed my fate while my
companions laughed and swilled their beer.
It was nearly dark when we arrived at the Texas
Star, a big houseboat moored near the road at the
north end of Gate Six. The drunks carried my
equipment while I followed reluctantly. Inside,
people greeted me as if I were already part of the
band, and therefore one of the gang. There was no
point in protesting my abduction -- I would find no
sympathy -- but when Joey walked in with his drums, I
felt more at ease.
Right away, drugs were offered. I didn’t drink
much and didn’t like drunks, but I liked an occasional
hit of speed or psychedelics...
Joey and I took snorts out of a sandwich bag full
of brown powder that was going around. It was
Nestle’s Quik mixed with synthetic mescaline. Joey
set up his drums while I plugged in the electric
guitar and tuned it. At the sound of the first twang,
people started yelling, “ROCK AND ROLL! GET IT ON!”
Where was the rest of the band? I ignored the shouts
while Joey tuned his drums, setting off more stomping
and howling. Maggie staggered in with a burly man
dressed in blue denim and motorcycle boots. As they
fell down laughing, I felt a pang of jealousy and
wished I was anywhere else. Joe and Kim finally
showed up as the scene reached fever pitch. With Joey
already pounding a strong beat, Tate started the riff
to “Bottle of Wine Blues” and the place erupted.
My musical automatic pilot took over, and as the
crowd danced and screamed I realized, above and beyond
my fear and resentment, that this was what rock & roll
was all about, and the Redlegs were the best rock &
roll band I had ever played with.
By the time we took a break, the drugs had taken
hold, and the room was suffused with a metallic white
glow. Some people seemed to be floating around the
room, while others were crawling about like reptiles
or scurrying like rodents. A blonde rodent named
Wieners ran around dishing out cocaine and mescaline.
Danny Joe Crumb, the Public Offender, had turned into
a lizard. A girl named Tracy, one of the Texans, was
lying flat on the floor, face up, as Crumb hovered
over her on his knees, trying to guide his penis into
her mouth. He gave up when she nearly bit it off.
As fascinating as this all was, I still felt
uncomfortable when the band wasn't playing. At
sunrise, when we finally quit playing, I wanted to
leave, but I had no offer of a ride.
A small group of bearded, greasy-looking men were
huddled in a corner, talking in a low murmur and
making menacing gestures that seemed to be directed at
me. They had names like Dredge, Peacock, Lizard,
Toothless Tom and Captain Garbage, and called
themselves the Truly Rank Motherfuckers.
When their little conference was over, Dredge left
the room and the rest of them walked slowly over and
surrounded me. Maybe they were going to beat the shit
out of me, maybe they weren’t. They started patting
me on the back, but their drunken grins and bloodshot
eyes told me nothing. Trying to escape was out of the
question, so I just stood there and waited, trying to
be cool.
Dredge reappeared, carrying a gallon can of paint
and a brush. The others opened the circle while
Dredge knelt on the floor and opened the can,
exposing the bright red paint inside. So that was it.
I was being Redlegged. There was no point in
resisting; this was an honor not bestowed freely, and
from the looks of these guys, I figured I was lucky to
be smeared with paint instead of blood.
The ritual over, the Truly Rank Motherfuckers
dispersed, and I was left alone in the wreckage of the
party. I went outside and was shocked to see that the
world was functioning as usual. Highway 1O1 was
jammed with commuters on their way to work.
I walked across Bridgeway and stood hitchhiking at
the Marin City freeway entrance, hoping the drivers
wouldn't see the Z-Spar Signal Red marine paint
dripping down the sides of my pant-legs onto my shoes.
• • • • • • • • • • • ...up top!
There was a surprise waiting for me at the house on
Cole St. The landlady had made a sudden decision to
turn the place over to her son, a San Francisco police
officer. None of the tenants was making a peep about
not receiving notice. I met the cop, a big burly
Irish redhead. He was barely succeeding in his
struggle to be civil with the seedy-looking hippies
milling around the house packing their things.
When I walked into the living room, I saw something
that made the waterfront seem suddenly benign by
comparison. On the mantelpiece sat a human skull
wearing a nazi helmet, flanked by two gleaming black
enameled metal swastikas. Being evicted was bad
enough, but in my worn-out, drug-addled condition,
this sudden glimpse into the psyche of a police
officer was too much to bear.
I grabbed my bag of clothes and hitched back over
the bridge to Sausalito. I tried to convince myself
that I was only going to retrieve my amplifier, but
then what? Hit the road? Back to Los Angeles? New
York or Boston? Not only did I have no car or money,
but I had left those places because things weren’t
right there.
A dim bulb was beginning to glow in a small room in
the back of my brain, and the walls were covered with
pictures of the Sausalito waterfront. There was a
radio playing in there too, and it sounded like the
Redlegs.
• • • • • • • • • • •
“Hey, it’s the new guitar player!” yelled Danny
Joe Crumb to no one in particular, as I slogged
through the Gate Six parking lot mud carrying my
electric guitar and bag of clothes. I didn't even
bother to wonder why he was standing around in the
cold rain drinking Green Death by himself, I was just
glad to see anyone who wasn't a dogmatized guru zombie
or a gestapo-worshipping cop.
“You know where Joe Tate is?”
“Sure,” he said. “Come on, motherfucker, we were
wondering when you’d show up.”
He led me across a wooden walkway leading to the
Oakland, an old potato barge with a number of smaller
boats tied alongside. I recognized the Hwang Ho,
Tate’s Chinese junk. There was a fairly large
workshop in the main cargo space of the barge, and
Danny Joe left me there.
An ancient-looking bandsaw stood in the center of
the room, surrounded by scraps of wood and piles of
sawdust. The walls were lined with shelves and work
benches covered with tools and mysterious-looking
junk. There was a filthy shower stall in one corner
next to a revolting sink, empty beer cans everywhere,
and a bum sleeping on the floor.
Joe walked in presently carrying an armload of
wood. He looked at me and turned on the bandsaw.
After cutting the wood into six-inch pieces he walked
out with it, saying he’d be back in a few minutes.
When he returned, he went to a dark corner of the
shop and lifted on old moldy sail, revealing the band
equipment.
“Well, shit. Let's play some tunes.”
The equipment had been ferried to the Oakland by
Dredge on his tiny black tugboat, the Loafer, along
with his regular crew -- Toothless Tom, Peacock,
Captain Garbage, and Jesse Crocodile. The tug was
tied up next to the Oakland, and through the shop
window I could see that the Loafer was flying a Jolly
Roger. I was relieved to see my amp still intact.
As we set up the equipment, I kept looking at the
bum sleeping on the floor.
“That’s my brother Hank,” said Joe. “He just got
in from Rantoul, Illinois, straight through on a
motorcycle.”
“Maybe we should let him sleep,” I suggested.
“He doesn't give a rat’s ass.” I guess he didn’t.
We played through half the night and he never
complained.
I found out very quickly there was no such thing as
a “rehearsal” with the Redlegs. On the waterfront,
music meant a party. It wasn’t long before the shop
filled up with the hardcore who weren’t burned out
from the night before. Maggie had arrived to sing,
but Joey and Kim weren’t around.
Around two in the morning I began to be concerned
with a place to sleep. A guy from Gate Five named
“Stark” Raven said I could stay on the Binnie, an old
cabin cruiser, for one night. He wasn’t using the
cruiser because had just acquired a navy surplus
amphibious duck, a tank-like contraption that could
travel on land or water.
“I’ll show you how to get there,” said Maggie. We
were walking in the rain through a maze of rickety
walkways, muddy parking lots, and slimy planks,
talking about music, when she asked if I minded if she
stayed with me.
“I would have been too shy to mention it,” I said.
“I know,” she replied.
The next morning, I started looking for a place to
live. I went to Joe Tate. He introduced me to “Green”
Gene Lee, so called because of his perpetual
consumption of Rainier Ale, or Green Death. Lee was
the proprietor of Bailey’s Barge, an industrial hulk
with a small habitable structure at each end. He had
“inherited” the barge from a crane operator whose lust
for young girls had made him a long-term guest of the
State of California. Gene told me I could crash on
the barge, but I’d have to get a skiff, since it was
accessible only by water.
“I know a rowboat you can use,” said Tate, “My old
lady has one she never uses. It leaks like a sieve,
but it's not far to the barge and I'll give you a
bucket to bail it with.”
I waited on the pier while Joe went to get the
oars. In a minute he came running out of the Hwang
Ho, and I heard his old lady, Pam, shrieking, “NOBODY
uses my skiff! Tell that asshole he can find his own
goddamned boat!” (Pam and I later became good
friends.)
He had another idea. There was a tiny barge with a
plywood box on it sunk next to the Oakland. It
belonged to Jack Harshberger, one of the partners in
the workshop. Tate did some quick detective work and
found him on a yacht in one of the downtown marinas.
We walked into town and boarded the boat. Harshberger
was involved in a long-winded discussion with the
Jefferson Airplane’s drummer. I managed to penetrate
a long discourse on the origin of the wah-wah pedal
long enough to buy the sunken wreck for twenty
dollars.
At low tide the next morning I surveyed my new
home. I knew nothing about carpentry, boats, or how
to fix anything, and I was the proud new owner of a
tiny, rotting plywood houseboat sitting sadly in the
mud at Gate Six. I was staring at it without a single
notion of what to do when Tate appeared and said,
“Hey, this piece of shit looks like it could be the
hot set-up. We’ll drag it up on the beach at high
tide and give it some float’em. There’s two main
things about boats: float’em and sink’em, and they
gotta have more float’em. When the tide starts coming
in you’ll see how fast it’s leaking. Then you’ve got
to keep it floating until there's enough water to get
to the beach.” He gave me a five-gallon plastic
bucket and I was on my own.
The mud at Gate Six was slimy and deep, had the
consistency of petroleum jelly, and stank like a
sewer. My “hot set-up” was sitting twenty feet away
in the ooze, and I had no rubber boots. I found some
plywood scraps and threw them in front of me at
three-foot intervals until I had a walkway.
By the time the barge was bailed I had moved two or
three tons of water, and my back was screaming that
death would be a pleasant alternative to this kind of
work. But when the tide came in, the barge floated,
Joe showed up with a skiff, and the Hot Set-Up was
towed to the beach.
The little vessel was only eight feet wide and
sixteen feet long. It had been sunk for some time, and
the inside was coated with gray-green stinking slime
but it was mine, a home, something I’d never even
thought about before. And since fate had landed me
here with an undeniable finality, I managed to find in
myself a glimmer of determination to get on with it
and try to make the thing float. The trouble was, I
hadn’t the slightest idea of how to do it.
When the tide receded and the boat was high and
dry, I stood on the beach and looked at the hull,
walking around it, trying to find the holes where the
water leaked in. What if the leaks were on the flat
bottom? Would I have to find a way to turn it over on
its side to expose them?
As I agonized over these questions Tate showed up
with Captain Dredge and Jesse Crocodile. They had
jacks, scrap plywood, hammers, saws, nails and black
roofing tar, or wet-patch. In a few minutes the
little barge was sitting on wood blocks two feet above
the beach, and Jesse and Dredge, the “Truly Rank
Motherfuckers” who had frightened me so much, were
crawling around in the mud looking for holes to fix in
my new houseboat.
They found plenty of leaks. Under Tate’s
instruction, I cut six-inch squares of plywood for
patches. He showed me how to smear wet-patch on the
plywood pieces and nail them over the holes in the
barge. This was no high craftsmanship but it worked.
When the tide came up again, the Hot Set-up floated,
and I had a home -- a floating version of a slum
chicken coop, but a home.
• • • • • • • • • • • ...up top!
The next Redlegs gig was at a bar in South San
Francisco called the Balkans, owned by an uncle of
Kim’s, on New Year’s Eve. It was my first real
professional job with them. “Stark” Raven was driving
us to the gig in his amphibious duck. We loaded the
equipment, including the Redlegs’ P.A. system, a cheap
microphone from a Sears tape recorder and a
wrought-iron lamp for a mike stand.
The tank-like vehicle was crammed with people. The
Truly Rank Motherfuckers with some truly rank-looking
girlfriends, Danny Joe, Gene Lee and others, all
swilling Green Death and cheap whiskey. They were
priming up for a party and my heart sank as I tried to
imagine this crowd in a civilized nightclub, at MY
gig.
Kim's uncle greeted us at the door and didn't seem
to mind our crowd. They were customers. The few
regulars at the bar hardly noticed, and our crowd
turned out to be the only crowd. We set up, started
playing and another waterfront party was on. After
the second set we were visited by the local
representative of the Musician’s Union. He was short
and nervous-looking, and couldn’t look anyone in the
eye. “Who’s the leader of this group?” he asked me.
I indicated Joe, who was standing at the bar. He
introduced himself to Joe and asked, “Do you know that
you played for a full hour that last set?”
“So what?” replied Joe.
“Union rules are forty minutes on and twenty off.
You should know that. Do you have your union cards?”
“Well, let’s see,” said Joe. He fumbled around in
his wallet and found his card. It had expired in
1966.
“This card is no good,” said the rep. “How about
you?”
I showed him my 1967 card.
“Does anyone in this band have a current Union
card?”
Joey offered his 1965 model.
“These cards are no good. You'll have to leave
this club. Take your band and get out of here, or
I’ll have the place closed.” The Union man’s eyes
darted around the room as if he were following the
flight of a bat.
Jesse had wandered over to listen and heard the
rep’s last remark. He said, “Who the fuck are you,
you little weasel? What are you trying to do, ruin
the party?”
“I represent the American Federation of Musicians.
This band is in violation of Union regulations. I can
close this place down.”
“I don't think you represent these musicians,”
said Jesse.
“The Union never got me a job,” said Joe.
“Come to think of it,” I joined in, “All the Union
ever did for me was take money and interrogate me
about being a Communist.”
A circle of Truly Rank Motherfuckers had formed
around our little group, all grumbling about the lack
of music. The Union man looked very uncomfortable.
“Why don’t you just go home and forget about it,”
said Joe to the Rep.
“Yeah,” said Jesse, “Fuck a buncha bullshit. We
wanna hear some music. We wanna dance.”
“Well, you guys won't be working in any union
clubs, I'll make sure of it.”
“Who gives a rat’s ass?" said Joe, and the union
man walked off in a huff.
My “professional” musician self was squirming at
all this. What if the guy really tried to blackball
us? But another part of me was laughing.
The “landlord” of the Oakland was Buck Knight, who
rented the vessel from Don Arques and sublet the two
apartments and shop. Buck lived in the main
pilothouse and rented the small wheelhouse to Maggie,
who stored her art supplies there. Jack the Fluke and
his family lived in the middle apartment, adjacent to
the shop, and the stern was occupied by Buck’s
hometown buddy Jeremy.
There were five partners in the Oakland shop:
Tate; Jack Harshberger and Greg Baker, who had given
themselves the genteel-sounding name “Sausalito
Shipwrights;” Jim Gibbons, a Milwaukee poet who was
rigging out a clumsy but colorful little lifeboat
conversion called the Cowpie; and a socially inept
(even by waterfront standards) psychotic named Bob.
Bob “the Glob” was rigid all the way through, and
had a steely glare in his eyes that called to mind the
term “hatchet murderer.” As Gibbons put it, “It was
quite clear that Bob had serious brain damage (and he
didn’t even drink!)” He hated the music and parties,
and it wasn’t long before he took action. One day I
found the shop door locked, and a note taped to it:
“This is my shop. I want Joe Tate and his equipment
out of here within twenty-four hours. If necessary I
will take legal action.”
The little turf war ended with a tense
confrontation between Joe and Bob. People were
drifting in to support Joe and the band, and “Bob the
Glob” left the shop in defeat.
Baker and Harshberger eventually moved on, and the
shop became the full time practice and party room for
the band, and social center for the neighborhood.
Gibbons remained. He was having a good time, and
writing poetry about the band and the waterfront
scene.
The shower in the Oakland shop was used by most of
the residents of Gate Six; to have one of your own was
an impossible luxury for most small-boat dwellers. As
more and more wayward souls drifted into the scene,
the shower traffic reached the saturation point.
There was always someone in the stall, and usually
someone waiting.
Newcomers were not encouraged to use the shower.
They often endured insults and cruel pranks like
shutting off the cold water from the outside, sending
them screaming into the middle of the room naked,
dripping, soapy and scalded. Even this proved futile;
I’d never seen such unflappable characters.
Dirty Dick, who responded to this abuse by
refusing to bathe for months and walking around with
dirty underpants on his head, was eventually invited
to take a shower. He celebrated by taking Jeremy’s
visiting sister with him and screwing her standing up
in the shower while twenty people cheered them on with
every moan and groan. Dirty Dick emerged victorious
waving a clean white towel and shouting,
“I am now CLEAN RICHARD!”
Another new arrival was Michael the Hippie,
complete with long hair, beads, astrology, tarot
cards, radical politics, and his wife, a pregnant
English rock & roll groupie named Penny. When he
walked into the shop with his towel for the first
time, he was greeted by a group of surly, drunken
Truly Rank Motherfuckers. Frank “the Lizard” Stewart
asked him,
“What the fuck d’ya think you're doing, hippie?”
Without batting an eyelash the hippie replied,
“This is the community shower, isn’t it?”
“What do you think this is, a commune?” I
snapped.
“Far out, brother,” said Jesse, sneering.
“Hairy Christian, Hairy Christian,” chanted Dredge,
“Ommmm...Power to the Peephole!”
“I don’t know what you think this is, asshole, but
it ain’t Woodstock,” said Frank. “Got the picture,
brother? This ain't Woodstock.”
Michael the hippie was not intimidated. He
undressed, took his shower, and went back to his boat,
the Magic Mushroom, with a new name: Michael
Woodstock.
With Bob the Glob gone, the Oakland shop parties
took on a life of their own. After a while strangers
were coming in off the street, out of the woodwork,
maybe from other planets.
We knew it was getting out of hand the night
Michael Woodstock ran into the shop yelling, “The
pigs are coming, the pigs are coming!” That was all
we needed, the cops coming to shut down the party, and
some idiot running around calling them “pigs.”
The cops told us there a been a complaint about the
loud music. They were clearly uncomfortable here, but
were surprisingly reasonable and polite. We assured
them we would turn it down, and they left satisfied.
Michael Woodstock had been taken away quietly and
given a lecture on the disadvantages of trying to
start a riot.
Right next to the Oakland and extending forty feet
past its bow was the Subchaser. This whole area of
the waterfront, from Gate Six south to Gate Three, had
been known as Arques Shipyards in World War Two. The
property owner, a cattle rancher named Don Arques, had
overseen the construction of Liberty Ships, Subchasers
and other military craft for the Navy during the war,
and many of these vessels were still around. Some,
like LCVP Landing Craft and Balloon Barges, had been
converted to houseboats. A few Subchasers had been
scuttled and used as makeshift docks, like the one at
Gate Six.
The Hot Set-up had originally sunk in the area just
off the bow of the Oakland, right next to the port
side of the Subchaser. When my newly repaired
houseboat was floated off the beach, we moved it back
to its old home. With a recently discarded but still
floating wooden dock (gleaned from the Army Corps of
Engineers) tied to the Subchaser, Maggie and I settled
in and were the first to take up residence in the new
spot. Kim and his girlfriend Heather tied their boat,
the Susie, to the other side of the new dock. Jeremy,
originally there for a visit, had decided to stay and
bought a small houseboat called the Camel Shack from
Adam Fourman, a loner who played piano and was the
part-time sixth member of the Redlegs band. Dredge
towed the Camel Shack in and Jeremy moored it to the
Subchaser. Gate Six now had a new sub-neighborhood.
It didn’t take long to get a name for the new dock.
Jeremy and I had been trading friendly east coast
insults and one of our favorites was “Bite The Bag,
Whitey” as in, “Hit The Road, Jack.” So we called the
new place “Whitey’s Marina.” I listed Whitey’s for
the home address on my new California driver’s
license.
The drydocks era was coming to a close. The band
had moved to the Oakland, and the Truly Rank
Motherfuckers to Gate Five, but going to the drydocks
was still an adventure, and could be profitable.
There was a good supply of scrap metal (steel; the
copper and bronze were long gone), and giant planks.
The last remaining forest of red fir, it was rumored,
had been used to build these monstrous devices during
World War II.
On the northwestern wall of the drydocks, facing
Bridgeway, there was a tremendous daisy, with the
inscription “LOVE IS.” It had been done with plywood,
near the top of the wall, the flower and letters
painted yellow and white.
Joe and Maggie and I were sailing the Hwang Ho one
day, hatching up new ideas for the band -- parties,
happenings, maybe a publicity stunt. We were just
passing the drydocks when Tate nearly had a seizure.
He started jumping up and down, yelling, “That’s it!
I’ve got it.” Maggie and I shot each other a puzzled
glance. Joe brought the boat around and headed home,
telling us the Great Plan.
We landed at Piledriver Island, a collection of
barges and sunken hulks offshore near Gate Five. Kim
had a barge there, an old pile-driving rig called the
Port of Oakland. There was an underwater power cable
out there, and piles of plywood, and electric tools.
Joe went to work on the plywood with a sabre-saw,
Maggie drew outlines, and I went to scrounge all the
red paint I could find.
The preliminary work was done, and Dredge joined
the operation. It was past nine o'clock at night when
we set out in a stiff westerly. The materials were
stacked on the Hwang Ho’s bow, tangling the foresheets
and making it difficult to negotiate the deck.
We sailed into the channel between the docks and
tied up. It wasn't hard getting the 8-foot plywood
pieces up to the lower deck. It wasn’t even that bad
hauling them up the ladders to the top of the 60-ft
tower, because we were still on the lee side of the
wall, but when we reached the summit and were slapped
in the face with a 30 mph wind, things got a little
hairy. The wind turned the huge plywood cutouts into
very effective sails, and any of us could have been
blown down to the deck with one wrong move. I quickly
learned the proper way to carry plywood in a high
wind. Dredge rigged a boatswain’s chair while Joe and
I went up and down, carrying the goods. Carrying
hammer and nails, Dredge lowered himself into
position. The wind blew him around like a feather but
he managed to get stabilized. With block and tackle,
we lowered the first piece.
It seemed a long time, but finally we were done.
We sat in the cabin of the Hwang Ho drinking hot
chocolate and brandy, exhausted but satisfied.
We sailed back to Gate Six and got some sleep, but not
much. First thing in the morning we drove to the Napa
St. Pier and admired our handiwork, a sight that
thousands of people would see every day:
LOVE IS Redlegs
• • • • • • • • • • •
The Redlegs were a group that people loved or
hated; no one who had experienced one of our events
left without an impression, good or bad. We had
enemies. The Redlegs were a real terror for anyone
who was afraid something might happen, because
something always did.
Our publicity prank at the drydocks was viewed
without much humor by the business community and
bureaucrats of Sausalito. The waterfront scene
(outside of the wealthy marinas) had been an
embarrassment to the City for two decades, and away
from the waterfront, the Redlegs were perceived not as
a rock & roll band, but a vicious gang of communists.
The criminal thing about the sign was that we had
created a promotional gimmick of epic proportions with
no money.
The LOVE IS Redlegs sign disappeared from the
drydocks in two or three weeks. Taking it down had to
be as risky as putting it up, or very expensive.
Someone was very upset.
Joe told me about a dream he had: In the bowels of
the Bank of America there was a little black box
code-named “Mind-Dog.” It controlled all TV
programming, and thereby the mind of the American
Public. We discussed this at length and concluded
that something must be done. It had to be symbolic,
to keep us out of jail, and fun. The answer was
Television Liberation Day.
We used Kim’s Port of Oakland barge for the event.
The public was invited, free of charge, to bring any
and all TV sets and publicly smash them to bits.
Sledge hammers and wrecking bars were provided. We
set up the band just after noon. After smashing a few
TV sets ourselves we played for five or six hours as
TVs came in a steady stream and people danced, not
with each other, but with crowbars, sledge hammers,
and boob tubes. At the end of the day the pile was
huge: shards of glass, bits of plastic and twisted
sheet metal.
The tradition was carried on by various groups,
notably the Ant Farm, a mysterious collection of weird
artists who showed up in strange places and did
strange things. We met them at a party where they
served raw carrots and showed slides of dead, squashed
animals on highways. A few years later, they took TV
Liberation to new heights when they drove a Cadillac
through a 30 ft. mountain of television sets.
The “Mind Dog” nightmare eventually became reality
at Gate Six. As big money and bureaucracy made their
inroads and the spirit of the place faded, television
sets appeared in one houseboat after another until the
whole neighborhood took on the lonely blue glow of
suburban America.
• • • • • • • • • • •
THE REAL REDLEGS STORY ...up top!
I couldn’t have been more wrong when I first
arrived and thought the waterfront/Redlegs scene was a
cult. It was not a cult, a commune, a “tribe,” it
wasn’t even a deliberately organized or planned
neighborhood, although it contained elements of all
these things.
Members of real cults and organizations were
sometimes confused or threatened by the waterfront
because it had a perceptible solidarity with no dogma,
rules or required form of behavior. The occasional
Christian preacher looking for converts never got
anywhere. Converts were made by ferreting out and
playing on dissatisfaction and emptiness in peoples’
lives, and it frustrated the hell out of missionaries
and crusaders when they were just ignored.
There was no stated unifying principle at work.
The Redlegging ritual, while seeming to strangers like
a precursor to some terrible initiation rite, was
nothing more than you saw: getting a red stripe
painted on your pant-legs.
It was John Stephens who named the Redlegs.
Actually, he recognized the Redlegs. Stephens was an
itinerant jazz musician and writer, an intellectual
with a keen perception of society’s absurdities and a
stinging wit. He was often referred to as the
“Godfather of the Redlegs.” When someone referred to
the drydocks gang as “a bunch of rednecks,” John
replied, “They’re not rednecks, they’re Redlegs.” The
name stuck, and the red stripes appeared. What John
Stephens knew, and the Redlegs themselves did not, was
that Redlegs were a historical phenomenon.
Pete Retondo originally came to Sausalito as
journalist on assignment for San Francisco magazine,
looking for “hippie vegetarian pirates” on the
waterfront, called “Redlegs.” Retondo had done some
research, and discovered references to “16th century
Celtic mountain men with sunburned legs, known as
Redshanks.”
The name was appropriate, given in allusion to the
colour of the bare legs by exposure...
...The Yrische Lords of Scotland, commonly [called]
Redshanks...
...The other part of Irland is called the wilde
Irysh; and the Redshankes be among them...
...I will rather wed a most perfidious Redshanke...
...By thir actions we might rather judge them to be a
generation of High-Land theevs and Redshanks.
...That Red-shank sullen, Once challenged for
stealing beef... ...The mountaineers of Wales, and the
Redshanks of Ireland... ...There might be knives
again, these Redshanks are...grudgeful...
(Oxford English Dictionary,
various sources)
There was a secret military society organized in
Kansas in 1862 called Redlegs because of their red
leggings, who numbered fifty to one hundred; their
predatory activities rivaled depredations committed by
Missouri guerrillas, and they served as federal scouts
in border conflicts.
( L.W. Spring, “Kansas, The
Prelude to the War for the Union.”)
And, a certain advance guard of the Bengal Lancers
in India were called Redlegs.
But for the real Redlegs story we have to go back
to the Celtic mountain men and Highland thieves. We
can deduce from the Oxford quotes that the original
Redshanks didn’t enjoy the best of reputations, so
it’s not surprising how some of them wound up in the
New World.
While European speculators and businessmen were
setting up their enterprises in the Americas, their
agents, hired thugs, were kidnapping boatloads of
black Africans and taking them west across the
Atlantic to be sold as slaves to work on the new
plantations. Although it’s less generally known, the
same thing was going on in the streets of Scotland and
Ireland. Drunks, vagrants, criminals and other social
undesirables were waking up with hangovers or large
bumps on the head to find themselves chained in the
bilge of a westbound ship. And many of these were
Redshanks, or Redlegs. The only difference between
them and the Africans was that the white slaves had
been coerced by threat of death to sign an agreement,
or indenture, binding them legally to their abduction.
These “indentured servants” didn’t take kindly to
their condition, and often became troublemakers,
joining forces with their black brothers-in-chains in
open rebellion and escape. To this day, in the
Caribbean Islands, there are still people known as
Redlegs--black, white and all shades in
between--social outcasts on both sides of the color
fence, living in their own ghettoes.
On musical performance...
First, make your audience uncomfortable; then,
relieve them of their discomfort.
Anybody can hold a crowd, it takes a genius to clear
the room.
On publishing...
I will have no patience with rich assholes any more,
and as a publisher I will fight to maintain my right
to insult, deflate, ridicule and generally bug people
who inflate petty selfish interest and gossip into
issues that get in my face.
On the rich...
They are concerned with themselves for no reason
other than to perpetuate the great idea at the root of
their behavior: It is a terrible burden to have
money.
Naturally you should never mention money around
these people. Why? Because you might see how they
could give you a bunch and not be in danger of running
short. But it’s so awkward. I mean, the rule is that
the poor just don’t understand these things.
When meeting a rich person at a party:
Ask if they’ve heard that the ink used in hundred
dollar bills causes cancer.
Ask how much they pay for their friends. (Example:
“How about your buddy Bob over there? A tight
partner like that must be worth several grand just to
keep his mouth shut, right?”)
Tell them the story of your friend who has decided
to “break the toys” of the rich. His plan is to put
plastic explosives in the cups on all the greens of
the Augusta National Golf Club and blow up all
eighteen holes at once during the Masters’ Golf
Tournament.
Tell them about hunger, about dumping products to
Third World people who die from their use, about
unsafe cars, about slavery as practiced in the name of
“having a job,” about unsafe drugs, about oppression
of others because of sexual politics and preference,
just about anything except poverty. They think
Poverty is a fat Italian opera singer.
Three hundred years of selfish behavior dies hard,
and may be forever with us.
On Humanity...
When your people treat me bad
It hurts me
When my people treat me bad
It hurts me worse
When people are treated badly
They have a way of finding out who their brothers are
Therefore
Look for the man who has been treated badly
His name was Jere Peacock, and he looked like a
truly desperate man. One of the Truly Rank
Motherfuckers, he scared the shit out of me at first,
and was the “burly man” who had stumbled into the
Texas party with Maggie. He sported a thick mane of
salt-and-pepper hair, set off by black eyebrows and a
thick black moustache. He always wore bluejeans, pants
and jacket, and usually had a bottle of something
potent. He seemed to me gruff, coarse, and
potentially violent. The first time I talked with him
was at the bum fire in the Gate Six parking lot. He
told me of his dream, to ride across the American West
on a horse, carrying a brace of six-shooters on his
hips. He handed me his bottle of Jose Cuervo and
insisted I drink with him. I didn't drink much then,
but it wasn’t hard to see there was no way out of this
one. The tequila loosened me up, and my fears began to
dissolve. He said he admired the fact that I could
play the guitar. He had always wanted to learn, and
asked me how I had mustered the discipline to become a
reasonably good player. Obsession, I replied, and the
perhaps neurotic need for recognition. I told him I
always hid behind the guitar for fear of facing the
world without it. Well, that did it. He bolted up
and embraced me like a long-lost brother and shouted,
“My Paranoid Partner! Somebody who understands...”
Peacock and I became great friends, and I laughed
at myself for fearing him. He was nothing more than
a gentle bear, a tortured soul searching for something
to sink his teeth into, a romantic on a quest for
answers and adventure. I learned he had published a
novel in the 50’s, a Korean war story called
“Valhalla.” The book was to be the first in a trilogy
meant to end all war on earth forever, but the
enormity of the project overwhelmed him and drove him
to drink, drugs and dreams of disappearing into the
wilderness.
He was still receiving royalty checks from his
publisher once in a while and when he did it meant
Party Time. Whatever you wanted you got. He preferred
small gatherings and chose his guests carefully. His
favorite song was “Hey Joe,"” the one about the guy
who shoots his “old lady” in a fit of jealous passion.
One night he showed up with a brand new pair of Colt
45’s, two bottles of port wine and a jar of Nembutals.
We sang “Hey Joe” for an hour or two, an then went
outside and spent another hour emptying the guns at
the moon.
Peacock began to go away more and more frequently.
Nobody knew where he went, or when or if he would
return. He seemed unhappy, despondent. He would send
typed letters to waterfront from locations far and
wide. The last one was called “The Wretched Mess” and
was a depressing account of his continuing,
degenerating sadness and disappointment with humanity
in general. Shortly thereafter we got word that
Peacock shot himself in the head with one of the 45’s,
in his mother’s Seattle apartment.
Real name, Greg Myers from Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Tried once to get a job at the Gibson guitar company
and was turned down because he had no high school
diploma, but he could repair a typewriter blindfolded,
or carve a gracefully curved boat plank with ease.
The name “Dredge” came from his living on an abandoned
harbor dredge, a barge equipped with a “clamshell”
scoop device for digging boat channels in shallow
water.
Dredge had an almost eerily atavistic sense of his
identity as a Redleg. When Pete Retondo asked him
about life at the drydocks, he said, “It’s pretty
loose out on the water, something like the old
frontier times,” as if he knew from personal
experience.
Like Peacock, Dredge’s outwardly gruff and
intimidating appearance was a thin disguise used to
protect a vulnerable and world-weary soul. Heroin got
the best of him in Sausalito. He went north to Oregon
to clean up, succeeded, married a woman named Joy and
moved to the Olympic Peninsula in Washington. Not
long after the birth of his daughter, named Maggie
after Maggie Catfish, Dredge died of a wound from his
own gun. The details and exact circumstances are
still unknown.
• • • • • • • • • • •
Poetry by Dredge
This here story in fact is true
Happened like this - may happen to you
We was high as the sky
Last Fourth a July
Getten real tore on ol’ Redeye
On our Island in Frisco Bay
Just havin’ a ball for Independence Day
Sure fire strate shootin sons a liberty
Goddamn glad just to be free
Twas just my waterrat pals, my dog an me
When a unfriendly boat came inta site
Twas that little punk cop who’s naturally uptite
Looken so hard ta give us the frite
Now he flashed his gun an spoke with a sneer
Said “I’m the law an yer finished here”
Tough and bad behind that badge a tin
Startin shoven an’ came right in
What a fool shoulda seen’m freak
Lost his balls to a yella streak
For when he saw our guns his knees went weak
Sat right down had no color in his cheek
He couldn’t stand an he couldn’t speak
We sure let him know, made him see
Way out here we live to be free
An he just ain’t GOT authority
If only he could he woulda run
Lookin’ down the barrel of a free man’s gun
Weren’t his idea of havin’ fun
This is our islan’ yella belly man
Get it together, find where ya stand cuz
Grudge fightin’s done here man to man
He went all limp an lost his fite an just stayed like
that
Till he drifted clean outa site
•
Tonite the sea is calm as I sail silently
Tward the open sea
A seagull cries a mighty boast
An tells the nite he’s feelen life
A flickeren splash
Fish feeds fish
Blue nite an black water swallow up the sounds
A lite fog becomes a misty shade to make
The moon a soft blue glow
Now again the whirling living dream
Roaming the earth on this living sea
Sailing where I please
I am the ancient seaman an know the
Boatmans skill an’ grace of a thousand years
On the sea the wind is up to fill
The sails, the swells roll high
And once again my restless soul is free
• • • • • • • • • • •
The waterfront was new and frightening, but I began
to learn nautical skills and get my sea-legs. Joe and
Maggie taught me sailing on the Hwang Ho and Yipes
Stripes. I learned to tie a bowline by untying the
knot step by step and seeing how it worked. This
process was a revelation to me. Playing the guitar
and cooking were the only practical things I’d ever
really paid attention to, and until now I hadn’t much
considered learning anything else.
One aspect of waterfront life familiar to me was
the Desperate Scuffle -- living from moment to moment,
hustling for daily survival. Nobody had any money, or
if they did, kept it a secret. After a while, Joey
liked to bitch about the “closet rich people” at Gate
Six, getting their kicks from slumming it on the
waterfront.
The easiest way to get a good meal together was to
have a party. Somehow, money for food, beer and wine
always appeared if music was happening. Jesse
“Crocodile” Bolton was a great chef and hustler. Once
the decision was made to have a party, it only took
him a few hours to put together a feast for a hundred
or more people.
The next big party happened for no particular
reason, except that Jesse had managed to hustle
enough money and food stamps to feed a huge crowd, and
everyone was ready to cut loose. We set the band up
on the Access Barge, a sunken hulk whose deck was
still above the high water line. Jesse produced a
typical feast of chicken teriyaki, barbecued ribs,
various salads, plenty of beer and wine.
To this day I can’t figure how the word got out so
quickly, or where all the people came from. Everyone
on the waterfront was there. The only holdout was
Greg Baker, who stayed on the Oakland, working on his
mast, muttering curses and casting murderous glances
at the partygoers.
My resistance to being there had faded, and the
music was coming alive. My first impression at the
Fairy Factory had been right. I was the catalyst in
an already volatile situation, and the scene was
beginning to explode. The notes rang out from the
guitars like an electric Anvil Chorus. People danced
and swayed as if in a religious trance. All my years
as a musician had been spent getting ready for this.
“Bells,” commented Ray Speck later, “It sounds like
giant bells.”
• • • • • • • • • • •
A new term entered the band’s vocabulary: Stage
Creep.
Either we were making it look easy or we sounded too
sloppy to be a real band, because every jerk with a
harmonica, flute, or anything else capable of making
noise felt compelled to jump on the stage with us and
start “jamming.”
Our first outstanding stage creep was the Sun
King, an acid casualty from New York who had heard the
Beatles song of the same name and decided he was not
only Sun King, but the second coming of Christ. Rumor
was he had drunk a chocolate milkshake with eighty
hits of LSD in it, and “never came back.” Modesty
prevented him from insisting on being called Jesus,
but he had a large sign in the window of his Heliport
studio that said, “THE CHRIST.” He had also published
a book of pseudo-cosmic gibberish in the vanity press
called, “One Way to the Light.”
He had a houseboat at Gate Six, and on sunny days
he paraded around naked on his roof, raising his arms
in the air, his face frozen in a brittle, metallic
grin and shouting, “I’m HAPPY! I’m The SUN KING and
I’m HAPPY! OH GOD, I’M HAPPY.”
Sun King sang in a terribly slow and irritating
vibrato that sounded like Johnny Mathis’ worst
nightmare. He was so incommunicably insane and
insistent, we let him sing a song:
Come` on baby, stick out your can,
I’m workin’ Sunday, Part-time Garbage Man.
Two other classic stage creeps made their debuts
that day: Angel and The Worm. Angel was a homeless
Indian who had recently returned from a futile attempt
to retake Alcatraz. He lived on barbiturates and
cheap red wine, and his face was horribly disfigured
with chronic acne. He played the drums terribly, but
we were on a break and no one had the heart to stop
him, at least for a while. While Angel beat on the
drums, a small swarthy man had picked up the bass,
and was writhing around so that Maggie doubled over
with laughter and shouted, “A worm, he looks just like
a worm!”
When it was time for us to play again, we asked
them to get off the stage. Angel was polite, almost
apologetic, but the Worm didn’t want to stop.
“Take a walk, Worm,” I said, picking up my guitar.
“Hey, don’t call me that,” he replied in all
sincerity. “My name’s Rabbit.”
We were playing in the Ark one afternoon when an
earnest-looking hippie came with an electric Indian
sitar, an amplifier and his girlfriend. As our band
played, this guy started setting up his equipment as
if he were a member of the group arriving late. Joe
talked to him politely, telling him to remove the
stuff. The hippie walked offstage and talked to his
girlfriend, who was directing him back to the stage.
She seemed to be saying, “You’re not going to let them
push you around, are you?” Indignantly he strode back
to the stage, picked up his instrument and tuned it as
if the band weren’t playing at all.
“I don’t know what you think is going on here,” Joe
said to him over the noise, “But this isn’t a jam
session. If we want you to play, we’ll invite you.”
Oblivious, the hippie continued tuning, louder now.
Joe’s politeness faded. He unplugged the hippie’s
amplifier. The girlfriend ran up to Joe and screamed
at him. To settle the issue, Joe picked the amp,
smashed it repeatedly to the floor, and threw the
pieces out the window. The audience applauded and
yelled their approval.
Without saying a word, the hippie packed up his
sitar while his girlfriend screeched at Joe, and then
him. The band played on, with no more trouble from
stage creeps that day.
Some people who came to live on the houseboats took
to the water, and some didn’t. For many, the
waterfront meant “low-income” housing, a colorful
atmosphere or refuge from the law. For others, it was
a gateway to real nautical adventure or livelihood.
Joey the drummer didn’t take to the water; he was
there strictly for the music and the permissive
atmosphere. Maggie and Kim already had their own
sailboats, and Joe lived on his Chinese junk. The
ability to hoist your sails and move your home
anywhere there was water was an intoxicating freedom
which made even the wild life of the houseboat scene
seem mundane.
The Hot Set-up hadn’t been the only sunken wreck at
Whitey’s. Just under the Oakland’s bow, its tilted
mast almost touching the barge’s deck, was a sailboat.
It was a little sloop, eighteen feet long, lying over
on its keel and filling up with water twice a day with
the tides. Painted on the stern were the words “Frank
Fong Boat.” I learned that it belonged, not
surprisingly, to a man named Frank Fong, a Chinatown
chef who came to Sausalito once every two or three
months, stared at the little craft for a few minutes,
and went back to San Francisco. For two months I too
stared at the boat, every day, and thought about
salvaging it. In a strange way it began to seem as if
the boat were mine and just waiting for me to get off
my ass and fix it up. And then one day it wasn’t
there.
By this time, mobility on the water was becoming an
obsession. With the little sailboat gone, I set out
to get a good rowboat. Gibbons had sold me a dinghy,
but it was a boxy, awkward thing, hell to row against
the wind. I found a cheap, leaky plywood dory,
patched it up with heavy duty marine epoxy and painted
it green with white rubrails. It was sleek, light and
fast, and its amidships rowing seat, or thwart, was
set very low to compensate for its light construction.
I named the dory Deep Thwart.
The Deep Thwart became my chief means of
transportation. I could visit anyone on the
waterfront, tie up at Gate Three and shop for
groceries at the Big G, fill the propane tanks at the
fuel dock, all with this little skiff. Sometimes I
would row for the fun of it, just to be out on the
water. It was on one of these aimless trips that I
saw the Frank Fong Boat again.
There it was, under sail, rounding the Clipper
breakwater into the Gate Five anchorage. Sitting at
the tiller was David Buttry, who lived anchored out in
a small houseboat full of odd musical instruments and
tiny electrical gadgets. Buttry was one of the first
to run an underwater power line from an anchored-out
boat to shore.
Frank Fong had given up on the boat and turned it
over to Buttry, who had bailed it out at low tide and
jury-rigged a sail. It didn’t even leak. I brought
the Deep Thwart alongside the Frank Fong boat and
jumped aboard. With the skiff trailing behind, we
talked about boats and sailing. As it turned out,
Buttry had salvaged the boat not out of a love for
sailing, but curiosity about how things work in
general. He didn’t really want to take on the Frank
Fong boat as a project. When I told him about my
interest in it, he agreed to turn it over to me
“temporarily,” under the condition that he would still
have the option to use it. I accepted this condition
readily and Buttry delivered the boat to me the next
day. He seemed glad to get rid of it.
I went to work right away, studying the sail rig
and scrounging blocks and fittings to fix it up with.
Following the instructions in Hervey Garrett Smith’s
“Marlinspike Seamanship,” I made a boatswain’s chair
and hauled myself to the top of the mast to inspect
and improve the rigging. Once the sail rig was tuned
up, I took my first solo sailing trip to Schoonmaker
Beach to scrape and paint the bottom.
Landing a boat on the beach for a bottom job is
easy. You just run it aground and wait for the tide
to go out. After the bottom was painted and the tide
came back in, it was time for the real test. I would
now have to return to Gate Six, which meant tacking
against the prevailing westerly wind into a narrow
channel and landing the boat without any assistance.
Things went fine until it was time to land at the
Whitey’s Marina dock. Not surprisingly, a number of
people were lined up on the Oakland deck to observe my
first try at negotiating the channel. Nearing
Whitey’s and seeing the onlookers, I had an attack of
self-consciousness but determined to make a good
showing. With Captain Dredge’s advice that “no fast
landing is a good landing” in mind, I loosened the
mainsheet and brought the bow into the wind, hoping to
coast easily up to the dock so I could step smoothly
off the boat and secure the bow line. At the last
second a gust of wind caught the jib, blowing the bow
away from the target and I stepped smoothly, bow line
in hand, into the water. The crowd on the Oakland let
out a cheer of approval. Having unwittingly engineered
my own sailor’s initiation rite, I was baptized.
The unique insanity of the waterfront accompanied
its residents (or denizens) wherever they went. The
Big “G” supermarket near Gate Three was a common
meeting place. It wasn't unusual to see
strange-looking people with red stripes painted down
their legs loitering outside the store with bottles of
Green Death in their hands, discussing things totally
alien or terrifying to the average shopper. Their
behavior was often somewhat unorthodox as well.
There was a good deal of shoplifting at the “G.”
For many it became a game, a challenge, and a form of
entertainment. Peacock’s regular meal consisted of
two barbecued chickens and a quart of Cuervo Gold
tequila. He would steal the items, then drink and
dine in the vacant lot right next to the store, which
came to be known as Peacock Park.
Jack the Fluke developed a routine that served him
well. He would buy a bottle of white port, drink most
of it right outside the store, then smash the bottle
on the sidewalk and run back into the market,
complaining that he had dropped it, as if the store
personnel were somehow to blame. They went for it
every time. He always got a new bottle.
Inflation was measured on the “Lungs and Livers”
scale. The Big “G” price of Camels and a quart of
Green Death was the minimum survival money for the
Truly Rank Motherfuckers and other hard core types.
Eddie Crash was the first to report that it had gone
over a dollar sometime in 1973.
My favorite thing about the Big “G” was the sign in
the beer section. It was there to discourage
customers from breaking up six-packs:
PLEASE GET LOOSE CANS OF BEER
FROM THE LIQUOR DEPARTMENT
Some local wit had altered it to say:
PLEASE! GET LOOSE! with CANS OF BEER
FROM THE LIQUOR DEPARTMENT
The Big “G” was where I first encountered dumpster
diving. While some of the bolder waterfront people
were walking out of the store with steaks stuffed into
their pants, many more were raiding the dumpster in
back, and on a regular basis. It was shocking how
much perfectly good food was thrown out daily, and how
well one could eat by “shopping” selectively at the
rear of the store, especially if you had no image to
protect. People may have been starving in India, but
they were also starving in America while supermarkets
discarded untold tons of edible food daily. Marin was
one of the wealthiest counties in the United States,
and full of individuals and businesses with images to
protect. Consequently, the quality of food in the
dumpsters was unusually high. You couldn’t find a
ripe tomato in the store--they were all out in the
dumpster.
The Goodwill box in the Big “G” parking lot was a
rich source of clothing, shoes, and even things like
radios or typewriters. Ironically, many waterfront
people couldn’t even afford to buy second-hand
clothing, so they bypassed the middleman and took the
discards of the rich directly from the source.
Sometimes the box was overflowing and surrounded by
bags and boxes of last year’s fashions and goods of
all sorts. Because of the “thievery” going on,
Goodwill replaced the box with a guarded container and
eventually abandoned the operation at the Big “G”
altogether.
The bounty of the supermarket dumpster got me
thinking. What else was being thrown away in
“upscale” Marin county? What did I need, besides
food? Marine supplies. I discovered the Sausalito
Yacht Harbor dumpsters, and couldn’t believe what was
there. The time to look was Monday morning, after the
weekend yachtsmen had gone back to wherever they
carried on their “real” lives. Apparently these
people thought that an empty boat was a good boat,
because every Monday morning the garbage full of what
seemed like a veritable inventory of supplies. It
wasn’t at all unusual to find six-packs of beer and
soda with one can missing, full bottles of champagne,
or untouched canned or other packaged foods, but the
real bonus was the stuff like paint and hardware.
Sixty-dollar cans of super-expensive deck and copper
bottom paint with one inch gone, turpentine, epoxy,
unused tubes of caulking compounds, brand-new paint
brushes, screwdrivers, scrapers and other tools,
cleats, running blocks, all chucked out for the sake
of a tidy-looking yacht. For years I kept up to four
wooden boats painted and maintained with materials
from the Sausalito Yacht Harbor dumpsters.
If we at the waterfront were considered
fringe-dwellers by “normal” society, how would the
straight world have perceived the Gate Six parking
lot? This was our fringe, populated by the truly
down-and-out, the genuinely insane, the flat-out
weird.
There were a lot of drugs around in those days. If
you knew who to see, you could get pot, hash, acid,
speed, heroin, PCP, cocaine, opium, MDA, mescaline,
psilocybin, depending on the season. Failing these,
there was always booze or Nyquil. But for pure
creativity when it came to getting high, it was hard
to beat the Bee Junkie.
He looked like a medieval phantom, with his hooded
coat (the hood always up), scraggly beard and
inch-long fingernails. His home was a tiny cargo
trailer by the Ark, maybe 4 x 5 x 3, just big enough
to crawl into and sleep in a fetal position. This
apparition never spoke to anyone, except to ask for
cigarettes. “Can you spare a smoke?” “Do you have an
extra cigarette?” This seemed to be his only way to
communicate with his fellow humans.
But communicating with other people was not a
priority with this guy. His intimacy was with bees,
and his main activity was catching them and injecting
the venom from the stingers. He was able to grab a
bee, and with perfect timing jab the stinging
mechanism into his vein just as if it were a
hypodermic syringe. Why this didn’t kill him or cause
severe discomfort, no one ever knew, but everyone
assumed it was related to his odd behavior...
[Now, twenty-five years later, I’m watching TV news
in Seattle and on comes a bit about people using
bee-stings to cure arthritis or something. Some
people are just way ahead of their time.
Eddie “Spam” was a bum who, like so many other
drifters, vagrants, vagabonds and other oddballs and
characters, just showed up in the Gate Six parking
lot. This guy looked like a Hollywood caricature of a
tramp with his dirty, rumpled fedora, long overcoat,
and shoes with the soles flopping around like huge
tongues. His long white hair and scraggly beard
suggested a sourdough forty-niner or a burnt-out Santa
Claus, but his rheumy, bloodshot eyes said only,
drunk.
It was Spider who gave Eddie the name “Spam.”
Spider, a part-time Grateful Dead groupie, had rather
strange and limited taste in food. Whenever he’d come
through the parking with a grocery bag, it contained
Sara Lee cheesecake, and bacon or Spam. It became a
ritual. “What’s in the bag, Spider?” “Cheesecake and
Spam,” or, “Bacon and cheesecake.” That’s what he
ate.
Eddie the tramp, naturally, was broke. He was
always bumming money for a drink. He usually ate out
of dumpsters, but booze was more important. Once in a
while someone would get a bottle of whiskey or a
six-pack and drink it with Eddie. Thus it came out
that he had been an accountant, had held a good job
for a long time. “I used to have money but I drink’d
it all up,” he would say.
One night at the bum fire, Eddie was in good
spirits, as a few people had given him drinks. Spider
was there, and I asked if he really ate nothing but
bacon, cheesecake and Spam. Sensing an opportunity to
create an aura of mystery around himself, he said,
“Well, I like those things.” He wasn’t going to commit
himself,
“I mean, do you eat them by themselves, or do you
combine them? Bacon or Spam and then cheesecake for
dessert, or bacon and Spam, and cheesecake later?”
“Actually,” he replied, “Bacon and cheesecake go
quite well together.”
“What about Spam and cheesecake?”
At this point, Eddie the tramp couldn’t contain
himself any longer. He limped up to the fire next to
Spider and repeated, “Spam and cheesecake!”
“Well, what about bacon and cheesecake?” retorted
Spider.
“You could have a sandwich,” I offered, “A slice of
Spam between two pieces of cheesecake.”
Eddie countered, “Or cheesecake between slices of
bacon.”
Spider: “Cheesecake with Spam and bacon.”
Eddie: “Spam with cheesecake and bacon.”
Spider: “Bacon with cheesecake and Spam.”
Eddie: “Cheesecake and bacon, bacon and Spam, Spam
and cheesecake. Bacon and cheesecake with Spam, Spam
and bacon with cheesecake. How ‘bout some Spam and
cheesecake with bacon and Spam, and cheesecake!”
“Sounds good to me,” said Spider.
From that night on, Eddie the tramp was called
Eddie Spam.
Rotten Richie was a mean old prick, and even he
probably would have told you so. What could anyone
expect from a retired San Quentin prison guard? He
ran the bait shop, Sausalito Boat and Tackle, by the
intersection of Bridgeway and Highway 101, just across
the Gate 6 parking lot from the Charles Van Damme.
The largest and most prominent wall display in the
place was a poster, a bright green, nasty, hairy
cartoon ogre with a spiked club, and the caption read,
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death I shall fear no evil. Because I am
the meanest son- of-a-bitch in the Valley.”
Richie had a scowl for everybody. He wasn’t
prejudiced, he hated everyone equally.
You could buy live or frozen fish bait, rods and
reels and tackle of all kinds, boat and marine
supplies: chains, anchors, etc., and guns. Rifles,
shotguns and at the back counter, handguns. Lots of
them.
Oh yes, did I mention the bar? That’s right, you
could sit down and drink a beer at the Bait Shop. Or
two, or five, or ten, and then get a six-pack to go.
As one waterfront old-timer observed, Rotten Richie’s
bait shop was the only place he knew of where you
could sit and get stinking drunk, and then buy a gun.
On one of Joe’s whims we took a sailing trip to the
San Joaquin River delta. A little fleet was outfitted
with crews and supplies--the Hwang Ho as pilot boat
with Joe, Joey and Kim aboard; the Loafer, the
Redlegs’ tugboat with Captain Dredge, Jesse Crocodile
and Toothless Tom; and Yanko Varda’s Cythera, with
Maggie, Cici, Saul Rouda with his movie camera, and
me. The captain of the Cythera was Roger Cowan, who
had been Varda’s skipper and sort of inherited the
boat when the artist died. Roger had the look of the
storybook pirate, right down the patch he sometimes
wore over his glass eye.
It was early spring. The westerlies were roaring,
and all the way to Sacramento it was straight
downwind. Dredge rigged the Loafer with a Navy
Surplus lifeboat lugsail. We sailed out of
Richardson’s Bay on a broad reach and caught the
incoming tide through Raccoon Strait.
The Cythera sailed like a juggernaut. She was a
steel lifeboat ballasted with tons of cement, had a
deep keel welded on. The boat was also a kinetic
Varda art piece. The hull was light blue-green with
multi-colored patterns, and she carried a lateen
(Arabic triangular) foresail, a Chinese junk-type
mainsail with a sun-god face painted on it, and a
bright red gaff mizzen. Before long we were into San
Pablo Bay, leaving the mountains of Marin County
behind for the flatter, oiltank-studded shores of
Contra Costa.
Our first anchorage was in Carquinez Strait, near
the town of Martinez, where we climbed the yacht club
fence and helped ourselves to showers.
We entered Suisun Bay and cruised by the Mothball
Fleet, hundreds of World War II vessels of every
imaginable type rafted together in neat military rows.
Despite the temptation, we stuck with the previous
night's decision not to try at least a token “salvage”
job, due to the height of the warships’ decks and the
possible consequences of getting caught ripping off
the U.S. Navy.
The San Joaquin River meets Suisun Bay at the
dreary, lifeless town of Pittsburgh. The water here
turns brackish, and a Mississippi-ish coffee-brown.
In the sheltered water of the delta, we encountered
the local boat population. They were mostly
sportfishermen and weekend cruisers, and had never
seen boats like ours. At Waldo Point, it was easy to
forget that the boating world was mostly white plastic
factory-made vessels piloted by “weekend warriors,”
and to these people it must have looked like the
circus was coming to town.
In a sense, the circus was coming to town. As we
sailed further up the river we began to see more
boats, all decorated, with crews all smiling and
waving. The vessels were festooned with flowers,
banners, crepe paper, balloons, and anything else
colorful or unusual the owners could find. One boat
carried a 10-foot Mickey Mouse balloon. We had sailed
smack into the yacht season Opening Day parade, and
our unorthodox boats and gypsy appearance were taken
as fanciful get-ups for the event.
Our destination was Bethel Island, which turned out
to be the rallying spot for the parade boats. The
social center of the area was the Sugar Barge, a
retired molasses scow from the California & Hawaiian
refinery in Crockett. It had been built up to look
like a classic paddle wheeler and turned into a
nightclub.
People lined the shore, cheering and waving as we
neared the Sugar Barge. We tied up to the guest dock
outside the restaurant. For the rest of the day we
entertained curious locals and boat people from all
over the delta, showing them around the boats and
talking about life at Waldo Point.
The first sour note was a visit from the local boat
cop. He boarded the Hwang Ho and demanded to see a
registration certificate.
“I’m in the process of getting this boat
documented,” said Tate. Federal documentation is for
life, and it’s free. The catch is that the government
can commandeer your boat in wartime. “You can't
document a boat unless it displaces five tons,” said
the cop, “And you know this boat doesn’t come close.”
“Like I said,” replied Joe, “I’m in the process of
getting documentation. The exact displacement tonnage
hasn’t been correctly determined.” The cop relented.
By nighttime the novelty of our colorful boats and
characters had begun to wear off at the Sugar Barge,
but we hadn’t broken out the guitars yet. Like any
unusual strangers in mainstream culture, we were
welcome as long as we kept them entertained but not
threatened. This was a fine line, and in the end the
Redlegs always managed to not merely step over it, but
trample it brutally and gleefully in the process.
It went well at first. We used acoustic guitars so
there could be no noise complaint. The favorite song
in the Sugar Barge was “Proud Mary,” with its
reference to riverboat life. This, repeated to death,
and other familiar songs kept the drinks and cash tips
flowing from the happy locals. It seemed we had
conquered the place. Jesse Crocodile sensed this and
went into action.
While the house cook sat at the bar drinking, Jesse
took over the kitchen and began cooking for the whole
crowd. When he emerged with the first plates of steak
and french fries the owner, who was tending bar, went
crazy.
“What the hell do you think you're DOING!” he
yelled.
“Just making some dinner,” replied Jesse, “We
haven’t eaten all day. Here. How about a nice steak?”
“Who the hell do you think you ARE! What do you
think this IS?”
“I thought it was a restaurant,” deadpanned Jesse.
“OUT! All of you. Get out of my bar. And I want
your boats gone in the morning, or I’ll call the
police.”
That was that.
We sailed around the sloughs for a few days, but
the good part of the trip was over. Food and money
were running out and the voyage back to Sausalito
would be against the weather all the way. When some
Sausalito people showed up by car with news from home,
Maggie and I jumped ship and took the easy way back,
not because of the upcoming band gig at San Francisco
State College, but because the Hot Set-Up had sunk.
Back at Gate 6 I saw the Hot Set-Up’s roof
sticking out of the water next to the subchaser.
After the tide went out I salvaged a few things but
most of the stuff was ruined. The place reeked of low
tide and garlic powder. I looked for the ten-dollar
bill I’d stashed on a shelf before the river trip, but
of course it was gone. I was standing in the sunken,
pathetic Hot Set-up when Janice Speck appeared on the
subchaser and asked if I’d left ten dollars. She’d
seen it floating near the boat.
Joey had recently bought a 36 ft. lifeboat hull,
and he offered it as a temporary place to stay. The
Cruncher had no structure on it except a floor, but it
floated and that was half the battle won. We borrowed
a tent, set it up on the floor and moved in.
We tied the Cruncher’s bow to a cleat on the
foredeck of the Oakland, and the stern to the
subchaser. On most tides, access was easy from the
Oakland. I became adept at walking the narrow,
slippery gunwale of the steel lifeboat and was getting
to be pretty proud of myself for really getting my sea
legs. It got so I could almost do it without looking.
Almost. One morning, stepping off the Oakland onto
the Cruncher thinking how agile and cool I was, I
slipped and fell face first onto the plywood floor, a
drop of about ten feet including my height. There was
a loud and painful crunch. There before my eyes were
the bottom halves of my two big, white, distinctive
buck teeth. My two front teeth. One vanity had
killed another.
Our next home was another small plywood barge, an
upgraded version of the Hot Set-up. We called the new
place the Hot Molecule. The phrase was one of Joe
Tate’s leftovers from his college days, when he had
amused himself by building a cyclotron, or atom
smasher, in his spare time. This new domicile cost
thirty-five dollars, and like its predecessor needed
major repair. But it was already hauled out and
sitting on blocks in a small boatyard on Gate Five Rd.
The hull of the new houseboat was sound, unlike the
sodden, decayed Hot Set-up, and layered with
fiberglass. It was the fiberglass that needed repair,
and the local experts told me the boat wouldn’t leak
if the tricky material were fixed correctly. One
thing they all assured me of was that working with
fiberglass was one of the most miserable jobs in the
boating world.
“You’ll need throwaway clothes,” said Ray Speck,
“And a heavy-duty body grinder. The most important
thing to remember is to take a cold shower at the end
of the day. The cold water opens your pores and lets
the tiny slivers wash out.” The tiny slivers were a
new and disturbing concept for me, and I had no idea
what a body grinder was, heavy-duty or otherwise, but
I didn’t like the sound of it much.
I borrowed the big and heavy grinder from Don
Bradley, a rugged individualist who did everything in
a big and heavy way. When I picked it up the first
time I almost cried. The job involved lying on the
ground and holding the grinder up against the boat’s
bottom as the spinning abrasive disk ate away at the
old fiberglass, throwing millions of those tiny
slivers into the air, in the exact vicinity of my
face. However, there was no backing out. This was
the world in which I now existed, and the job had to
be done.
It took two days of grinding to prepare the hull
for new fiberglass. The throwaway clothes and cold
showers, along with safety goggles and respirators,
kept me from becoming a pin cushion for tiny needles
of plastic. Applying the new material was easy. I
now had a houseboat that theoretically floated.
The next problem was getting it to the water, a
quarter of a mile away. As I fretted over the seeming
impossibility of this, Don Bradley and Ray Speck
showed up. They laughed at my dilemma and said,
“That’s easy. We were just waiting for you to get
done with the hard part.”
The next day Bradley showed up in his big, heavy
duty truck, hauling a trailer he’d made from an
automobile chassis and steel I-beams. Speck came
along shortly and without any help from me, they set
to work with jacks. The barge was sitting on the
trailer and out the narrow boatyard gate in a couple
of hours. I followed along on foot as Don towed it to
the beach by the ferry Vallejo. He backed around and
parked so the houseboat and trailer sat on top of
small knoll. After I had secured a line to the barge,
Don unhitched the trailer and gave it a shove,
sending it down the beach and into the water. The
trailer disappeared beneath the surface, leaving the
Hot Molecule floating on the calm water.
“What about the trailer?” I asked.
Don laughed and said, “I’ll pick it up at low tide.”
“What the hell can I do to pay you guys for this?”
Their answer was, “Just keep playing music.”
Mr. Larsen was an innocuous little man with a beer
belly, who looked like someone’s kindly grandfather.
As Marin County’s building inspector, it was “just his
job” to tack abatement notices on the houseboats at
Gates Five and Six. The papers said, “Notice to
remove or destroy.” I watched one day as Larsen
approached the Hwang Ho with one of these papers. Joe
was aboard and saw him coming. Without a word, Tate
untied his mooring lines and let the boat drift from
the pier as he raised his sails. The Hwang Ho sailed
silently away, leaving the building inspector standing
helplessly at the water’s edge. Larsen’s ignorance of
the difference between sailboats and houseboats
aside, if he’d ever had chance to actually inspect
that Chinese junk, he’d have found a quality of
construction he or the other County “experts” couldn’t
have imagined. But that wasn’t the point, and never
was. There were forces gathering against the
waterfront, and Larsen was nothing more than a stooge.
No one really paid Mr. Larsen much attention, or
took the abatement notices seriously until the day
when the County Sheriffs came to tow away Joe’s Camel,
the first houseboat Tate had built and later sold.
When Joe “married” Maggie and me at the drydocks,
it was a pretty ho-hum affair. Even the LSD we took
only served to amplify the nervous discomfort that
accompanies that sort of ritual, even on our
tongue-and-cheek level. Nonetheless, any excuse for a
party was good enough and we all wound up spending the
night out there.
The next morning was clear and calm. When I woke
up and went to take a leak, I could see a Coast Guard
boat in the distance. It was heading north by the
Clipper Yacht Harbor breakwater, accompanied by
another, smaller boat. Sensing something ominous, I
boarded the Hwang Ho, woke Joe and Pam and grabbed
their binoculars. Sure enough, gold-helmeted Marin
County sheriffs were aboard with the Coast Guard, and
they were headed into the Gate Five anchorage.
Hardly anyone had outboard motors in those days.
The Loafer was one of the few power boats and Dredge
was out of town. As fast as they could, everyone at
the drydocks cast off and set sail for Gate Five. The
Yipes Stripes was the fastest sailboat in the Redlegs’
fleet. Maggie and I got to Gate Five first, where the
Sheriffs now had a tow line attached to Joe’s Camel
and were preparing to take it away. The houseboat’s
occupant wasn’t home, and the cops must have seen it
as a sitting duck.
Saul Rouda had been shooting 16mm film footage of
the waterfront for three or four years. He had movies
of parties, sailing, boatbuilding, character profiles,
even a mock wedding in the mud at low tide. Many of
us took Saul less than seriously. We called him
“Media Man” and sometimes wondered if he felt
inadequate without that camera on his shoulder. It
could be very annoying to be going about your
business, or just trying to have a good time, with an
Arriflex in your face. Saul may have had trouble
living in the moment, but he was onto something nobody
else had thought of. This place was too good to be
true, and couldn’t last. He would have it on film.
Boats of all sorts were headed out to the Camel,
and tension was mounting in the air. Maggie dropped
me on shore and I phoned Saul. “You better get up
here with a camera, Saul. The cops and Coast Guard
are trying to tow away the Camel.” He was on the way
in minutes, and got it all.
The cops were way out of their element. With all
the metal they carried, they must have been terrified
of falling into the water. Another problem for them
was the nature of Joe’s Camel. A “camel” was a huge
block of solid wood, made from smaller blocks and held
together with steel bolts. They would never sink.
Camels originally functioned as fenders, preventing
close-moored military ships from damaging each other.
The average dimension was 12 ft. long by 8 ft. wide by
6 ft. deep. They were like tiny icebergs, floating
with only a few inches out of the water, and totally
waterlogged. Even without the weight and windage of a
house built on it, a camel was an awkward nightmare to
tow, even for an experienced boatman.
The Coast Guard was helpless. With hardware-laden
cops to protect and chained to an object that was
nearly impossible to move, seventy or eighty small
boats went around them in circles, full of people
shouting at them to mind their own business and go
home. The smaller police boat was a Boston Whaler,
very maneuverable but helplessly outnumbered. One fat
bald sheriff on the Whaler stroked his nightstick with
gloved hands, a terrible angry scowl on his face.
One of the basic rules of boating is that sail has
the right of way over motor. With this in mind, Joe,
Maggie and others in sailboats deliberately passed in
front of the police boats over and over again,
allowing them no progress in any direction. A few
overzealous types poked at police with oars, resulting
in little tugs-of-war. This landed some people in the
water, and enabled the cops to pull a few out and
arrest them. The prisoners were handcuffed and left
on the Coast Guard boat with no life jackets. To
protest this, Joe rammed the Coast Guard with his “bow
crusher,” a piece of T-shaped diamond-plate steel
affixed as a figurehead on the Hwang Ho.
It was getting near the stage of really dangerous
violence when Randy Farwell appeared in his Boston
Whaler, one with a motor twice as powerful as the
cops’, and led the police Whaler with the angry gloved
sheriff on a futile high-speed chase. They didn’t get
Joe’s Camel. We won the first battle but the war was
only beginning.
Things are gettin’ rough for the poor folks in this country
We can’t afford to travel very far
The price of gasoline is always raisin’ slightly
and few of us can still afford a car
I could take a train to somewhere
but I ain’t really got the means
or I could take a plane to elsewhere
but I’d get there broke and never be able to leave
Yes and don’t you know there’s many a poor man
Who’d like to live a rich man’s dream
And find him a ship to take out on the ocean
And set him sailin’ on the sea
Our last free ride is waitin’ on the water
Our last free ride is waitin’ on the wind
That’s only free way gonna take us anywhere
I guess we’re all gonna have to go sailin’
Lyrics & music © 1974 by Cici Wilcoxon
Joe Tate was the first one to see that this was the
beginning of the end, that politics and big money
would prevail. Waterfront property in the nation’s
second richest county was too valuable to be occupied
by what amounted to a bunch of squatters who thumbed
their noses at the law. Real trouble was brewing in
the Marin County Civic Center, where the Board of
Supervisors and businessmen whose interests they
represented were planning the conversion of the
waterfront into a floating condo development.
Sausalito was going the way of all charming seaside
“bohemian” communities, inundated by tourists and
filling up with businesses that catered to them. As
in all such places, the very people that made it
interesting would be driven out by the elements they
attracted.
Gates Five and Six were attracting their own
tourists. The grounded Charles Van Damme ferry, the
Ark, was visible from Highway 101 and curious
travelers would take the Marin City exit to check it
out. When they found an entire community of unusual,
colorful characters behind it they were delighted. We
were sometimes treated as if we were costumed
employees of a theme park, there to answer questions
and entertain the visitors. Groups of ten or fifteen
people with cameras would walk down the docks, looking
into windows and doorways, snapping away. Some would
be discouraged if anyone asked for money to pose for
them, others were indignant. Most of these would have
called the police if a stranger even walked down the
street in their neighborhood back home. Sometimes we
got little old ladies’ art classes, who set up their
easels and lawn chairs in the parking lot.
In some cases the curious stayed, or were
absorbed. Pete Retondo arrived on the waterfront as a
journalist on assignment for San Francisco magazine,
searching for “hippie vegetarian pirates.” He was
right about the “pirates” part. By the time the
article was published, Pete was fixing up his own
houseboat.
By 1973, the Truly Rank Motherfuckers had faded
into legend. Captain Garbage went north to fish for
salmon. Peacock disappeared and showed up only once
in while. Strung out on heroin, Dredge sold the
Loafer and moved to Vancouver, Washington and
eventually to Quilcene, on the Olympic Peninsula, to
try and clean up. Jesse Crocodile went home to
Oregon.
Little by little, better docks were built, people
had babies, and the place began to seem safer. No
longer were all but the most adventurous kept away by
some intangible aura of danger. Stories went around
about National Geographic coming to do a pictorial.
“The waterfront is over,” said Joe one day after
navigating his way past a dozen Japanese tourists.
“We need a big boat, so we can take the band and sail
anywhere.” It sounded like a great idea, a seagoing
rock and roll band. We could play the ports of the
world and not be bothered with bureaucrats, building
codes, or tourists. It would be Fuckabunchabullshit
in its purest possible form.
While the developers and the county moved in and
turned the screws tighter and tighter, waterfront
political types went into action and began organizing
meetings. Up until then, parties had been the common
meeting ground, and as I sat at the first meeting,
listening to my friends and neighbors argue, I knew
Tate was right: the waterfront, as I knew and loved
it, was over.
Meanwhile, Saul Rouda got serious about making a
movie. He’d studied political science at Berkeley,
and the Houseboat War had fired him up. Here was just
the angle he needed to make a real film out of his
miles of waterfront home movies, an antagonist in the
form of heartless developers and corrupt bureaucrats:
a bad guy. He brought in another, commercial
filmmaker named Roy Nolan and they set about
concocting a script. The movie would be titled “The
Last Free Ride,” after the song by Cici Wilcoxon.
We’d sit around at night talking about taking the
band to sea, financing our travels by setting up gigs
in waterfront dance halls and bars all over the world.
But even with all I’d seen here, the fruition and
realization of possibilities and dreams, the big boat
seemed like too much. Could it really happen?
The band went on playing. We traveled north to
Humboldt County and played on the Avenue of The
Giants. We played Bimbo’s (the old Mafia showroom in
North Beach), Bill Graham’s Winterland, Keystone
Korner, the Old Mill in Mill Valley. The Built-In
Failure Factor followed us to all these places. It
seemed the further from the water, the worse the
failure. I began to think of this as the Shangri-La
Effect. In James Hilton’s “Lost Horizon,” the
protagonist tries to take a beautiful young woman out
of the fabled valley. When they cross the border, the
girl becomes an aged hag and dies. Once we traveled
two hundred miles north for a big party and found a
dingy, dirty cellar with fifteen drunk hippies and no
electricity. I raided the medicine cabinet, found
Seconals and Nembutals, and passed them out to
everyone in our entourage. We slept in the
Znarghmobile, on top of each other and the equipment,
and drove home in the morning without touching an
instrument. But our parties on the Sausalito
waterfront, especially the Ark dances, were great
successes and became legendary.
Without any fanfare, Joe had put the word out that
he looking for a big boat.
Piro Caro was one of the elders of the waterfront.
He lived on the City of San Rafael ferry in Gate Five,
and had been one of the original North Beach “hipster”
artist-intellectuals in the forties and fifties. This
statement was made in 1973 to the Marin County Board
of Supervisors at the first public hearing on the new
houseboat building code ordinance designed to
eliminate the nonconformist Gate 5 and 6 community:
“...I’ve lived on the waterfront for more than
twenty years... For more than those twenty years on
that mud flat, a very important, a very healthy
community has come into existence. This community is
composed largely of your sons and your daughters, the
children of the middle class. They come in usually
very incompetent, often psychotic, often with cops at
their backs...not knowing how to saw a board, but
they come in and nobody says yes or no to them. They
find a place, and they spend the next year, and
sometimes two or three, building and rebuilding this,
their houseboat. which turns out to be an
interestingly vernacular architecture. Very
interesting, and very important.
Also, they come to do another very important
thing. They come to find a world in which they can
operate and they can move. The reason that they come
is because the world, your world, cannot accommodate
their needs. They either have to much energy, or too
much talent, or too much rebellion. In any case,
they’re the young, and accommodations have to be made
for them...
Well, you can build more hospitals, you can build
more jails, you can hire more police. You can have
more social workers, probation officers... That’s
what would have happened if these people had not come
onto this waterfront.
As it is, for twenty years I’ve watched these
people come in. And now they’re all my old friends.
A young man comes in and makes himself a home, finds a
chick, and has kids; the kids are now grown up and in
high school and college. It’s a very healthy and
excellent community, where people live freely and
well... I sincerely hope you do not pass this
ordinance.”
The ordinance was passed.
The first Redlegs dance on the Charles Van Damme,
commonly known as the Ark, was a direct reaction to
the battle over Joe’s Camel. Legal money was needed
for the people who had been arrested and charged with
“illegal assembly.” Joe went to Don Arques and got
permission to use the old ferry for a benefit, and the
waterfront went to work. The cleanup job inside the
ferry was enormous, and done willingly by a crew of
enthusiastic volunteers. This was the best excuse for
a party yet.
Joe came up with a gimmick: free beer. This meant
no I.D. at the door, no liquor license problems. Andy
Goodman, who called herself the band’s Number One
Groupie but also functioned as a sort of den mother
and road trip organizer, fronted money for the seven
kegs and two legally required rent-a-cops. Maggie
went to work on a poster design, and the Oakland shop
became a silkscreen factory.
The party was only two days in the making. The
poster contained information about the benefit and
location but the big print, the gist of it was this:
TONIGHT! THE REDLEGS! FREE BEER!
Joe and I left with a pile of fresh posters at nine
in the morning and by four o’clock had stapled or
taped them to nearly every corner telephone pole,
bulletin board and store window in Marin County. When
we got back, Don Bradley, Gene Lee and Jeremy were
rolling kegs into the Ark.
Besides the Redlegs, a good variety of
entertainment had been lined up. Our own Mary Winn set
up a puppet theater and did a childrens’ show. Cici
Dawn, along with Gate Three resident and former Los
Angeles nightclub character Robbie “The Werewolf”
Robison, and semi-legendary convict-folksinger Doc
Stanley, put together a high-energy folk group called
Free People. The group was named after Robison’s song
“Free People,” hastily but spiritedly composed after
the Houseboat Battle. The song opened with the lyrics,
“It’s gettin to be the time when they’re puttin’ on
the screws to the free people...”
To insure a long night of strong, danceable rock &
roll and add drawing power, Joe hired the raucous
local band Flying Circus. This began a long and
colorful partnership. For the next few years Flying
Circus would be a regular fixture at Redlegs dances
and road gigs like The Garden of Earthly Delights.
By the time Flying Circus had done their set, the
energy level was nearly over the top and all the
local-hero Redlegs had to do was walk on stage and the
place went crazy. The event was a huge success. The
Ark was jammed with over eight hundred people and
there was only one fight.
We had one stage creep that night. A guy came in
with a guitar and claimed to be part of a band called
the Flamin’ Groovies. He was fairly polite about
asking to play, so we had a little conference on our
break and decided to let him go for it. Joe sat out
and left it to me to deal with him. I had eaten a
capsule of mescaline and the drug was coming on strong
as Joey, Kim and I took the stage with our “guest.”
He started playing in a biting, staccato style that I
found immensely annoying. The mescaline had made me
highly sensitized and I knew right away that something
unpleasant would happen if this guy was allowed to cut
loose. But it was too late to just get rid of him.
He would have to be dealt with musically.
“Flamin’ Groovy” kept up his aggravating barrage of
stiletto-blade notes and the mood in the Ark began to
darken. Joey and Kim found a groove and the crowd
danced, but the tension stayed. As the mescaline took
a firm hold, the stranger developed a dark aura and I
began to perceive this ordinary-seeming jam session as
nothing less than a battle between Good and Evil. I
was utterly convinced that it was my responsibility to
neutralize the malevolent forces being unleashed by
the alien presence across the stage from me.
As I struggled to find the right musical focus, the
bad vibes spread into the crowd and the fight broke
out. Gene Lee was in the middle of it, being attacked
by six or seven short-haired rednecks. As the crisis
grew, the answer struck me: it wouldn’t help to
outplay my opponent, that would only add to the
problem by building the pitch of battle. No, the
trick was to underplay him. I established eye contact
with Joey the drummer to let him know something was
about to happen. As Flamin’ Groovy hacked away in a
“G” blues mode, I hit a long, slow Eb major seventh
chord, and Joey and Kim shifted into a new, smoother
rhythm. From that point on I played no more tonic,
fourth or fifth chords, and worked soft-sounding
chords around the key of G without touching it,
putting his blues notes out of context and making them
seem soft, as if a pillow of air was forced under
them.
The fistfight fizzled out and everyone was back to
dancing by the time the song was over. Flamin’ Groovy
walked over, shook my hand and said, “Nice jam.
Thanks.”
The first Ark dance led to another, and then more.
The next few were “benefits” for the houseboat cause,
but we dropped the word “benefit” after a while. The
Redlegs now had drawing power and filled the Ark to
capacity every time. The word “concert” was never
used for a Redlegs event. It went along with the
big-business gentrification and pretense that had been
corrupting rock and roll since the mid-sixties. I
could never get over the idea that there was something
wrong with an awe-struck audience sitting in reverence
before a group of superstar guitar gods strutting
around the stage in carefully contrived poses, the
stage lined with armed security guards. Rock and Roll
was about having a good time, wasn’t it?
Every Redlegs dance had a different theme, which
Maggie incorporated into the posters.
The poster for this one depicted a cartoon
character resembling the Incredible Hulk lifting a
crowded dance floor above its head like a tray, as if
about to the throw it into space. If life ever
imitated art, it was on this night when Don Bradley,
stone drunk on Green Death, got the urge to express
himself and joined the top echelon of stage creeps.
Don rarely wore shoes, and had the kind of
rugged-looking feet that brought to mind the
Sasquatch, or Bigfoot, the legendary man-ape creature
of the Pacific Northwest. But when he ascended the
stage in a drunken blackout, without shoes or shirt,
Bradley, a powerfully built man, was the perfect image
of the Incredible Hulk as depicted on the poster. He
grabbed a microphone, and for fifteen full minutes
grunted, howled, and moaned unintelligibly but
passionately into it as the bewildered crowd stopped
dancing and stared, or cleared the dance floor
entirely. We had no real choice but to let him run
his course, and he eventually retreated to a corner
and passed out.
Why not? They were coming to San Francisco, and we
needed a theme for the next dance. Besides, I was
sick of hearing about them being referred to as the
greatest rock and roll band in the world, and the
reverential tones in which they were discussed.
“Let’s challenge the Rolling Stones to a battle of
the bands,” I said to Joe. Even Tate had more respect
for Jagger and Co. than I did, but after giving a me
funny look his eyes brightened up and said “Great,
let’s do it.”
Maggie went to work on the poster, drawing two
broken and bandaged electric guitars and using day-glo
orange ink for the lettering. After plastering Marin
County with the flyers, Joe and I went to The City and
covered the area around Winterland, including the
front and stage entrances, where the Stones would be
performing that weekend. Although it was unlikely, we
now had to consider the real possibility of them
responding, and we hoped they would.
The dance was on Saturday, the second night of the
Rolling Stones’ engagement at Winterland, and we
scheduled it to go to 3:00 A.M. to give them plenty of
time to show up. Michael Woodstock went to Winterland
with a handful of posters, spreading them around the
lobby and managing to toss one at the feet of Bill
Wyman, the Stones’ bass player. According to
Woodstock, Wyman picked it up and read it.
The Rolling Stones never showed up at the Ark, but
a capacity crowd did, and at 3:00 A.M. we closed down
after announcing that we had won the Battle of the
Bands by default.
We learned to get pretty loose with the word
“benefit,” and decided since the band needed money, we
would have a benefit for ourselves. This one would be
called the “Down and Out Musicians’ Ball,” and feature
a contest with a real houseboat for a prize. The boat
in question was a sunken derelict, a mud-filled
twenty-foot surplus lifeboat with a crude plywood
superstructure, but it was a houseboat and could be
floated and fixed up. As a second prize, Joe came up
with an odd-looking leather strap and buckle device,
and called it a “Tijuana donkey-fuck harness.”
To win these fabulous items, contestants were
obliged to deface the photograph of the Redlegs on the
“Down and Out Musicians’ Ball” poster. Entries poured
in by mail and by hand, right up to the night of of
the dance.
Bob Seal’s contribution was the most creative, or at
least the most extreme. He had smeared the photo with
his own feces, swirling it around in a nice spiral
design. And he had the good taste to let it dry
completely, too. For this he won the Tijuana
donkey-fuck harness, and as Joe made the presentation,
he wished Bob the best of luck with it.
The Grand Prize winner was our old buddy the Sun
King, although I cannot vouch for the objectivity or
fairness of the final decision. The prize houseboat,
the sunken wreck in the mud, was visited a few times
by its new owner but never repaired.
The waterfront went all out for Halloween. It
definitely wasn’t just for kids, and after
trick-or-treat was over, the real hobgoblins came out.
At the Ark Halloween parties, the dark, cavernous
interior of the ferry with its huge open beams,
unusual shapes and smokestack running up through the
middle of the room was the perfect place to get weird.
Psychedelic drugs also helped.
I never dressed up in really elaborate costumes,
using the excuse that as a guitar player in the band I
needed freedom of movement. I didn’t even like
jewelry or heavy boots. But I always did something,
like spray my hair with glitter and go as a “rock
star,” or smear my face with charcoal, put on a straw
hat and go as a sharecropper.
It was the time I went in blackface that someone
gave me a dose of LSD in a drink. As the acid came on
I wandered around the Ark trying to get some sort of
orientation, but the costumes and bizarre behavior
made that impossible. One man was trudging around
balefully, and stinking of low tide, wrapped in what
looked like two hundred pounds of kelp. He had to
have gone over the mountain to the coast to get it
from the surf. It was Pete Retondo, the
journalist-turned-houseboater demonstrating, I
presumed, his dedication to the aquatic life. A huge,
floppy Raggedy Ann doll with gigantic breasts danced
by and nearly bowled me over as I tried to communicate
with the Retondo kelp-creature. Later I learned that
the floppy doll was Annie Hallatt, the Gate Three mask
artist, when she won the costume contest. But with
the LSD just hitting its pace in my brain, it all
seemed disturbingly real, as if what I was seeing was
not costumes at all, but what everybody really was.
A common trait of people on LSD is that they tend
to think everyone else is also high, whether the
others are under the effect of the drug or not, and
the tendency can be to surmise that human behavior is
generally much stranger than we would like to think. I
had to sit down and ponder this. I found myself at
the end of a long, medieval-looking table. It seemed
like a meeting was taking place, but no one was
talking. It was as if the costumes and masks were
making the statements, and that was enough. Slowly, I
looked at each of the characters before me: a
prostitute, a nineteenth century fop, a vampire,
Satan, a bozo-type clown. Each of them made eye
contact, and there was a vague but deep understanding
of something in all their faces and I felt not quite
part of it until I noticed the figure at the opposite
end of the table, facing me. At that moment, time
stopped and I understood. Staring back at me was a
white face, greasepaint done in mime fashion on a body
dressed up a black tuxedo and white gloves. Between
the sleeves and the gloves I could see the natural
skin, and it was black. Only then did I remember my
own blackface persona. The white-face black man and
the black-face white man at opposite ends of the table
just stared at each other and understood.
Jeremy was a nice ex-college boy from Connecticut,
an old pal of Buck Knight. One summer, while Buck
was on vacation, Jeremy came to Sausalito to stay in
Buck's quarters in the stern apartment on the Oakland.
He was well-mannered and reserved in the New England
Yankee style. Well-educated and articulate, he came
from New London, where the Navy builds and launches
nuclear submarines. The area has a rich nautical
tradition, and Jeremy felt comfortable in the
waterfront environment.
The Redlegs band was ensconced in the shop at the
bow of the Oakland, and eventually Jeremy came around
to see what was going on. Not surprisingly, he liked
rock & roll music, and after a few discussions, I
found out he had gone to the University of
Connecticut, where I had played frat parties and
student union dances. We told Connecticut stories and
had a few beers. Jeremy discovered Rainier ale, or
“green death.”
It wasn't too long before Jeremy was part of the
scene, helping the band with the equipment and dancing
merrily at parties with his bottle of green death in
hand. He also joined boating forays and got with the
pirate spirit easily.
Redlegs drummer Joey “Crunch” had a 36-foot Navy
surplus lifeboat, which had been equipped with an
engine, a deck, and a crude tiller for steering. This
job had been done for the purpose of ferrying people
back and forth from the drydocks when the Redlegs
finally opened that scene to the publicand staged a
play-for-pay party. The Cruncher was also a perfect
salvage boat and often came back to Gate Six loaded
down with booty. Coming back from one salvage raid,
the crew had misjudged the tide, and the boat ran
aground near WOF Island, at the end of the Gate Five
main pier. To make matters worse, they threw out a
stern anchor in an attempt to kedge out backwards, and
in the process wrapped the anchor chain around the
propeller. Jeremy, clad only in bluejean cutoffs and
pickled with green death, volunteered to jump
overboard and free the chain. The tide had receded
further, making it easier for Jeremy to free the
chain, but making it impossible for the boat to go
anywhere.
In the spring there occurs in Richardson’s Bay an
algae growth
that turns the water green and thick. It was that
time of year and when Jeremy emerged from his attempts
at freeing the chain, he was covered and dripping with
green slime. This, combined with his well-known habit
of drinking green death, gave him the name Green
Slime.
The Green Slime character began to evolve, with no
help from Jeremy. Green Slime was everything that
Jeremy was not. Rude, belligerent, crazy, sometimes
Neanderthal, totally fearless, and often hilarious.
Jeremy had been brought up in a strict Catholic
family, and like many of his ilk was still struggling
to rid himself of the horrors of such an upbringing.
Not so Green Slime. Green Slime was liberated. There
was a comic book circulating at that time called
“Binky Brown meets the Holy Virgin Mary,” about a
young Catholic boy who has sexual fantasies about
“God’s Mom.” Jeremy liked the comic but Green Slime
became obsessed with it.
Green Slime was becoming a fixture at Redlegs
shows, sometimes getting into fights, and encouraging
mayhem in general. The second time we had a dance at
Whitey Litchfield’s Bermuda Palms, we hired Marin
County bands Flying Circus and Clover, and Ricky the
Mad Cuban Harpist. Ricky always called himself God,
unashamedly and in no uncertain terms, and could be
heard on the waterfront at any hour of the day or
night proclaiming loudly, “I AM GOD, SOY DIO!” He
played flamenco-style music on the harp, with real
Latin passion. He showed up at the gig dressed as
Fidel Castro. The audience thought he was nuts. After
Ricky’s (God’s) set, Green Slime took the stage
dressed in priest's robes and with his face painted
day-glow green, delivering a carefully prepared
monologue, or sermon, consisting of three words:
“FUCK... GOD'S... MOM!” He uttered this again and
again, in every conceivable tone and inflection, until
we had to gently lead him off the stage before the
angry crowd attacked him.
Green Slime had become notorious in the Truly Rank
Motherfucker sense. I once encountered him on the
subchaser, whereupon he mumbled incoherently and
pulled out a knife and was about to stab me in the
gut. Strangely, I felt no great fear and just walked
away. Maggie once beaned him on the temple in the
Oakland shop with a green death bottle because he had
ripped the pay phone off the wall and smashed it to
bits in search of beer money.
His greatest moment happened on Market Street in
San Francisco, at a used car lot. A scene was to be
filmed for “The Last Free Ride” with the band playing
on a stage built at the base of a huge billboard
overlooking Market St. just above a used car lot. The
billboard was a Lark cigarette ad, showing a racing
yacht sailing along with beautiful suntanned people
aboard. At the very top of the sign, some 40 or 50
feet above the pavement, were the words, “PUT SOME
PLEASURE IN YOUR LIFE.”
As the winos and other street characters danced, a
few of them started pointing upwards and yelling about
something. I turned around to see Green Slime,
dressed in nothing but cut-off jeans, climbing up the
side of the billboard. Jeremy had once been an
ironworker and wasn’t afraid of heights. Green Slime
knew this. He had something hanging from his belt,
and ascended steadily despite the pleas from the
crowd. Reaching the top, he straddled the sign and
reached for the thing on his belt, a can of red paint.
Unfortunately he had no brush, so with his hand, he
smeared paint on the billboard. He inched along,
dipping and smearing, dipping and smearing. That day,
Green Slime managed to pull off a grand stunt,
upstaging the band and nearly getting all of us
arrested.
A cheer went up from the street when he was
finished. Over the word “pleasure,” he had smeared
“Redlegs,” leaving the message:
“Put Some Redlegs In Your Life.”
...up top!